Something Worse Than The Friend Zone

     It’s like you’ve known her forever and she even shares her inner secrets with you. She’s sooooo comfortable around you that she’s herself, no frontin’. You’ve even seen her without makeup and kicked it with her on her bad hair days.  When you’re watching a movie she’ll lay cuddled up under you and may even tilt her head to your shoulder. She trusts you to stay in the other room while she changes clothes and may even streak half naked passed the door way.

Whenever she has guy trouble, it feels like you are her first stop to discuss it and she even thinks out loud about how the guys she dates should be more like you. You wonder if she likes you “like that” because sometimes she’s hot and sometimes she’s cold. She has to like you because the two of you spend time together, right? She almost kissed you in the mouth the last time she gave you a peck to thank you for the money you let her “borrow”. Maybe you just have to figure out the right approach… OR maybe you are in the dreaded FRIEND ZONE!!

     I have news for you. You WISH you were in the friend zone. What you are is the boyfriend substitute. At least in the friend zone she’d offer up some of her female friends as a possible love connection. As the boyfriend substitute, she does everything in her power to block any happenings between you and her female friends. She wants you all to herself; she wants you to be free when she wants you. She wants to be able to break the glass in a boyfriend emergency and be able to use you for all the things she would a boyfriend… if she still had one.

 

     As a guy, you’re probably thinking of it as an opportunity you can turn into more with just a little persistence. It’s possible, it happens. But that is the exception and not the rule! Sure you can be her Jacob when Edward decides to pick up and leave (Twilight Movie reference).

She’ll immerse you with her time and you’ll seem to get closer and closer. Dinners, movies, get-togethers, family functions, you’ve been everywhere together! Car problems, money problems, personal problems, you’ve been through a lot together! After all you’ve always heard the best relationships come from close friendships. DUDE WAKE UP!!!! She needs you so she won’t think of him or need him. It’s only a matter of time before she either gets back with her Ex or finds her next. If she were into you, she’d have made it abundantly clear by now. She’s only blurring the lines of friendship because it suits her. Basically she’s spending time with you while she’s biding her time for someone else. And if you are telling yourself that she’s had a boyfriend before and come back to you, so that’s proof that you’re destine to be together… MAN LOOK, stop simpin’.  You and this female probably will never been together like that. She’s just not that into you!! Don’t believe me? Ask yourself these questions: 

• Does she introduce you as her friend, stressing the word “friend”, when around family and friends?
• Do you get the “lol” or “:)” or the like after sending her that “Good morning beautiful” text message?
• Does she pull back, when you try to get sexual?
• Does she always tell you she’s glad you guys are friends?

Any of those questions alone, don’t mean much BUT answering yes to more than one tells a different story.  Stop wasting time to figure out ways to get her to want you as more than a friend.

Instead, be cognizant of where you spend your time and energy. Don’t invest in someone who isn’t willing to invest in you. Think you can win her over with just a little more effort? I’ll just watch and it’ll be just like another movie I saw once…

~Sha’ Young @Sha_iWrite